2024
ROAD TRIP
DAY ONE
Santa Paula, CA — Auburn, CA
421 miles
We began our journey to DC at the Haggard family residence. Everyone was happy to see us go except for Killian, although we couldn't tell if he was sad because we were leaving or because his brother was holding his arm.
Our first stop was up at TAC, where we picked up some stuff and dropped off some stuff. Then the journey really got under way as we made our way to Bakersfield.
One whole hour into our trek, we stopped so that Jack could do an interview. We knew that we needed to find a fancy locale for the best chance of success, so we picked a rather run down McDonald’s in Santa Clarita. Perfect. After thirty minutes of tension, Jack secured the job. Boom.
Now that Jack had a job, we needed to spend some money. Specifically, we needed to buy some emergency supplies for the car, which Maren and Anna insist is called Cosmos, but which Jack unaffectionately calls “the car”. We pulled up to a Walmart and immediately regretted our decision to buy Cosmos when we saw some riding lawnmowers for the same price, taunting us.
Once we had bought our supplies, which consisted of coolant, windshield wiper fluid, jump leads (trans: jumper cables), window chalk, a gas canister, and a swimsuit that caught our eye. In an attempt to become millionaires we drew a message on the back windshield, which felt like only a small step above open begging.
At last, we were on our way! Finally! The message really started to put in some work, and we almost immediately received one cent from a kind soul who was driving behind us. Even more helpfully, this person put in the description of the payment “Follow the law! Vehicle Code 21654” which, as everyone knows, is the part of the law that says “Don’t drive too slowly in the fast lane.” Having been properly chastised, we moved over to the slow lane and continued on our way. Nothing happened for a while after that, until about four hours later when the sun set. Then we were treated to a setting sun, which, naturally, set in the normal way that the sun sets, but which nevertheless inspired us to take a photo of the sun setting.
At 9:30 PM PDT, we arrived at our first official stop: The Huckins’ house in Auburn, CA. We sat around a bonfire for a bit and talked and joked. We forgot to take any pictures of this part, so you’ll have to imagine it. The first day was done. We had all survived, including Cosmos. Hopefully the next day would prove just as uneventful in terms of accidents, and much more eventful in terms of earning money. Only 14 more days to go!
